Lifting yourself out of a slump

It should come as no surprise that it takes a lot of effort to get a book into production by yourself. Starting from scratch, with no idea whatsoever of the industry I was moving in to, it has taken many years for my first book to see the light of day.

I first started documenting the stories I made up for my daughter when she was a toddler…now she’s mid-way through high school. The beautiful images I used to conjure up in my mind of reading my books to her school class have well and truly gone out the window. At this point in my journey, even my youngest daughter’s class is starting to look a little shaky...and they were born 6 years apart.

I have been going at this publishing thing now for so long, I’m starting to feel cursed. I’ve even started to entertain the idea that I might be in a Matrix-like existence, where my creator has stamped my life ‘never to be successful’.

For fear of sounding too dramatic…I offer my latest endeavour as proof. The service station closest to my house has a lovely guy behind the counter who talks to everyone. I mentioned my books to him around the same time a would be final year uni student Illustrator spoke to him about finding work outside of his course. An exchange of phone numbers and a meeting later, I offered the not-even-quite-finished-his-uni-degree student the chance to illustrate any number of my books (Take your pick). If his work was good, I said, I could see no reason to pay him less than I am paying my commercial illustrator in South Africa. I sent him an email to discuss terms and received a text back saying “Sorry, I’m having relationship issues at the moment and yeah, don’t feel like working on this ‘publishing’ thing yet. I’ll give you a call when I’m ready.” ‘Err, um, that’s not how job offers work…dude,’ I thought while promptly deleting all existence of him from my phone and email.

The point I am trying to make is that sometimes I feel so cursed that I can’t even offer to pay a non-degree uni student full commercial rates to illustrate a book without failing! I can’t imagine when I was a young student, if a person offered to pay me full rates for the very thing I am about to finish studying, I would have passed!. As perplexed as I was about the encounter, I started to wonder why I continue to go on with my dream of publishing my books when the universe seems hell bent on getting me to stop.

Emotional Investment

Whether we stay in something, be it at a job we don’t like or a marriage were are not entirely happy in, largely depends on the emotional investment we have made. A lot of us might want to leave a relationship that isn’t giving us what we want, but we don’t because kids, property, lifestyle...the ‘emotional investments’ we have made means we will want to stay, even if we have doubts or are feeling not quite as fulfilled as we would like to be.

I have a tonne of emotional investment in my books. An absolute tonne of it. Which is good because the return on that investment is currently less than zero, actually it’s more like a giant hole in a dam constantly and painfully draining away every ounce of my resilience, but I have an investment in to none the less, so I persist.

If you want to pull yourself out of a slump, having an emotional investment in something else is one way to get the energy needed to lift yourself up and out. Having something to look forward to will help keep you going when you really want to give up. I keep going because I can’t wait for the proud look on my daughters face when I read my book to her class…unless it’s when she starts high school when that proud look becomes a look of sheer horror, but wanting to make sure it’s no later than year 4 is enough emotional motivation for me.

Life is precious

It might seem counter intuitive that I am spending so much time working when I believe life is precious, but it’s because I cherish every moment that I want to spend the time I have doing something I love, and I love the idea of building up my business and love the idea of encouraging kids to use their imaginations not their parent’s iPhone. It’s therefore, very hard to stay in a slump when I think that the time I am spending slumping, is time I could be working towards my dream. When you start to feel like a slump is near, focusing on what that slump will cost you mentally can sometimes help it avoid taking hold.

All slumps are temporary

Yes, I may feel pretty shitty at the moment being rejected by a student but…that’s not to say that I am going to feel this way tomorrow…or the day after…or the day after that. When I feel really slumpy, and I mean hard-to-get-out-of-bed-and-function slumpy, I pick a date in the future, say a month or so away, embrace my slump and count down the days till the date I have picked, knowing that by then my slump will likely be over. If I reach my day and still feel the same, I repeat. Slumps can’t last forever, even in Matrix-esque worlds. I could catch a break and things could change just as quickly upwards as they did downwards. My book might catch on and who knows where it could take me. I try to focus on the positives, a bit like dredging my way through a mud obstacle course knowing a hot shower awaits at the end.

Slumps happen to EVERYONE

By definition, Brad and Angelina should never have split up. They are one of the most stunning couples to ever get together with fame, family, money, property and the world at their feet. But even those with seemingly everything a person could ever want still experience everything everyone else does. Why? Because they are human. We think that just because they look perfect; their life must be perfect. But life is not perfect for anyone, no matter if you are Hollywood’s golden couple or a person on minimum wage. That’s why I am against fawning over anyone just because they happened to be born into wealth. Money doesn’t make anyone a better person, in fact money often makes people a worse version of themselves and it certinally doesn’t make anyone immune to the fact that we are emotional creatures.

Being in a slump is part of the normal cycle of being human. Sometimes you feel good. Sometimes you feel crappy. When I get down, I be the best down person I can be. I embrace it, safe in the knowledge that feeling down is just the opposite of feeling up and we are lucky that we can experience both. I'm really good at feeling bad. I'm also really good at feeling good. But with both, I'm acutely aware of the delicate balance between each. It helps to remind myself of this when I'm taking a bath in the complete darkness because I am hiding from the world.

Feeling genuinely mentally unwell

Being in a temporary slump is one thing, but if that slump starts to affect the way you fundamentally think and feel then it’s time to seek medical advice. I had a break down in my early 30’s. I thought I was just feeling a little slump-ish, until I couldn’t pull or think my way out of it. I remember one year feeling like Christmas was incredibly pointless and it kept getting worse until one day I stopped crying altogether, and then started crying in random places, like during presentations, without realising I was doing it. I needed professional help and medication.

If a slump feels longer than it usually does or you start to lose the ability to feel at all, seek medical help immediately. Help is always available and taken seriously now more than ever before. Don’t think it will just get better because there is a point where no amount of will is going to help. Believe me, I’ve been there. I didn't even realise I needed professional help, but once I got it, I saw a path through that I didn't think existed anymore. You can too, you just need to present yourself in person to any doctor and your new journey will begin. The GP doctor I saw took one look at me, bundled me in a cab to the Priory Clinic in London and into the care of a Psychiatrist. It took him 6 months to undo the damage I had done to myself, but I am forever grateful that I got the help I needed when I needed it.

Most of all, take care of yourselves.

Lee xxx